My son has 50% of the normal red blood cells that a child his age should have. Somewhere between December 2, 2011 and February 12, 2012 his red blood cell count decreased from a normal level to 50% of what it should be. A team of 8 wonderful doctors have been working on his case, but they are still puzzled and have not been able to draw any real conclusions. So far all of the diagnostic tests have come back negative so we continue to wait to understand what the problem is and how to address it. His body took well to the emergency blood transfusion that he had so far so we were allowed to come home late Wednesday evening with the understanding that we would have to go back to the doctors on Friday. We went back yesterday (Friday) and were told that his tests are still coming back negative and more testing would need to be done. One doctor shared some words of wisdom that have helped my wife and I put things into perspective, “You are going to be running a marathon right now and not a sprint.” The biggest challenge for me in running this marathon with my son is the balance between living in the now, doing the best I can to prepare for the future, but not envisioning too far off in the future because I do not know what it holds. It’s easy to think about possible scenarios of what the outcome of all this may be and in those moments become very overwhelmed. I have to remind myself that God is much bigger than I am and that His way (all though it may be much different than mine) is the best way.

I ended my last blog with 3 things that were on my mind and I thought that I would let you know a little more about those:

1)   One of the things that God has been saying to me is to enjoy the moment. We all live busy lives with jobs and many other obligations. I find that sometimes I can allow all of the “have-to-dos” get in the way of being attentive to the more important things: God, my family, friends, and myself. I’ve been made eerily aware that the one thing that you can never get back is your time. How do you invest your time and make the most out of every minute?

2)   I continue to thank God for making Himself present to us in so many ways, especially the Sacraments. Without Him, I don’t know where I would be right now. I’ve also resolved to donate blood more intentionally whenever I can. I use to donate with the attitude of, “Sure, why not? Maybe this will help someone.” But, now after having my son’s life saved through a blood transfusion, I will never approach donating so haphazardly again. I’d encourage anyone reading this to take advantage of giving someone else the opportunity to live by donating your blood anytime the opportunity arises.

3)   Most people have heard the saying, “Patience is a virtue.” Well, like most virtues, it is only useful when you actually exercise it. I really don’t want to exercise patience right now, but I don’t have a choice of whether or not to be patient. However, I do have the choice to either lovingly embrace this time or become disgruntled and agitated and miss out on all the great opportunities in front of me. I choose love.

Please continue the prayers and feel free to reach out to me anytime. I love hearing from others. I’m looking forward to having another story to share in Catholic youth speaking and Catholic youth retreat leading that will glorify God. I don’t know exactly how all of this will work out, but I am confident that God works everything for the good if we will let Him.

In Christ,

Gary Foote

1)   Sometimes I just don’t understand God’s ways. I’ve been asked many times the age-old question, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” I usually quote C.S. Lewis as I try to answer this difficult question: “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pain It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world” (The Problem with Pain). As I sit here this morning it is hard to try and listen to how God is whispering, speaking and shouting. I guess it’s time to try to be even more attentive.

2)   The middle of the night blood transfusion had a big impact on me. I’ve given blood several times without batting an eyelash, but this is the first time that I had ever seen someone’s blood being used to help another person. My wife and I both jumped to give our blood for our son when the doctor told us that he needed a transfusion, but we were told that regulations would require that our blood be tested for diseases, compatibility, etc. and that those tests would take too long so we would need to use an anonymous donor’s blood. As I look at my little guy, I am so grateful for whoever it was that donated their blood so that he could be helped in his time of need. The blood transfusion also made me think of how badly I need a blood transfusion on a regular basis: Jesus’ blood for mine. I don’t have the strength to live my day-to-day to life without the Holy Eucharist.

3)   Once again I am at the mercy of patience and waiting. I use to be a pretty patient person, but much of patience has faded away over the years. I hate having to be patient, but it is entirely out of my control. I guess it’s just another example of how things are in God’s hands and not my own.

If you wouldn’t mind, I’d really appreciate some prayers during this time. I hope that you are off to a great week and I will post an update as soon as I can.

In Christ,

Gary Foote

But for me, that one phrase was enough to get me thinking. When I speak as a Catholic youth speaker or Catholic Retreat leader do I inspire or just inform? Heck, forget about when I’m presenting “professionally.” The bigger question, “Is my life inspiring or just informative?” When I meet people will they look forward to the next time our paths cross because they feel motivated, energized, and excited when they are around me? Will what I say and more importantly the witness of my life inspire someone enough to want to make real and lasting changes or could they just as well tune me out after a moment or two like a bad commercial? Although life gives us many opportunities to do something different and new (which I am so grateful for), one thing that we only get one shot at is our first impression. For me, that means that I need to continually remember to be my best self because he’s the guy that has the chance to inspire someone and we can all use a little of that each day. You don’t have to look too far for information, but INSPIRATION, now that’s a rarer gift that people desire and deserve!

Photo by Travis S. courtesy of Flickr under Creative Commons License

Remember, John the Baptist and Jesus were cousins so there were most likely some familial occasions were they were together and maybe John the Baptist’s disciples were there too. We know that John the Baptist baptized Jesus. It is possible that the four where present and saw the image of the dove descend upon Jesus and heard the voice of the Father in the clouds. Needless to say, Jesus was not a stranger to these four Apostles.

The Sacred Scriptures tell us that Jesus first proclamation was a continuation of what John the Baptist was preaching, “ The kingdom of God is at hand. Repent and believe in the gospel” (Mark 1:15). Jesus started with a congruent message to what the four had heard from John the Baptist. Simon Peter, Andrew, James, and John ended up in an extremely radical place after following Jesus for the 3 years of his public ministry, but they started their relationship with Him in a not so radical fashion.

It’s easy to think that Jesus called and the four immediately responded so those that I have the opportunity to spread the Gospel to should react the same way. But in reality there was a lot of time spent laying the foundation for Jesus’ call. When the these four Apostles heard, “Come follow me,” it was not odd and radical. It was an expected message from an expected leader.

As a Catholic youth minister and Catholic retreat leader it can be hard to balance between offering an opportunity for conversion and being written off as too radical to those who have never really encountered Jesus in a personal way before. Maybe we can all learn a lesson from the method that Jesus followed: Lay a foundation, keep a consistent message, build up a relationship, and then move on to change the world! Once again Jesus is the Master Catechist as He not only leaves us the message through the Sacred Scriptures, but also the method.

In Christ,

Gary Foote

Although Jesus was answering a question about casting out demons, I think working in Catholic youth ministry as a Catholic youth speaker, Catholic youth volunteer, Catholic youth retreat leader, or any other title we can still be enlightened by what He said. How many of us have ever said, “If only Father SoandSo would come to one of our youth nights then maybe he’d understand why we need more money for our retreat!” Or, maybe you’ve thought to yourself, “Of course Mrs. Business Manager doesn’t have a problem being at staff meeting at 8:30 a.m. Monday morning. She wasn’t with the teens all weekend long and cleaning up the hall until 11:00 p.m. last night.” I could go on-and-on with different comments or thoughts that I’ve either had or said over the many years I’ve worked in youth ministry, but for the sake of your eyes and my hands I’ll stop with the examples here because I’m sure you can think of many more similar situations on your own.

The point is this: most parishes live as a “kingdom divided.” Too often we become territorial and close-minded. We start functioning as a business and not as a collective body of ministries. I look around the country at many parishes and see what Jesus was talking about so many years ago, “a house divided against itself will fall.” So how do we combat this? Well, the first place to start is with us! When was the last time you attended a ministry meeting that you are not involved with to just see what it looked like? When there was a scheduling conflict over one of the parish facilities, did you work with the other ministry to see how you could both benefit from the use of the space, or did you stake your claim since you were on the calendar first? Have you tried to find another option for a Confirmation student who can’t attend your mandatory retreat, or did you just tell his parent, “You knew about the retreat since the beginning of the year. You need to get your priorities straight or come back next year when things might work out differently in your schedule?”

We can’t change others no matter how hard we try. Yes, we need to pray for one another but the changing has to be left to God to do. The only person you can change is yourself. The best way to become a part of the solution in not allowing the house of God to fall upon itself is to avoid becoming part of the problem. Have open communication. Be flexible. Model the life that you are challenging the teens to live. Most of all, allow Christ to transform your life so much so that when others see you, they see the radiance of Christ in you and can’t help but want to work with you as a member of God’s family under one roof. Let’s stop the division, start the healing, and bring our family back together under our loving Father one parish at a time. Know I am praying for you and will do my part as well.

In Christ,

Gary Foote

God’s will is this: “For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him may have eternal life, and I shall raise him [on] the last day” John 6:40.

When push comes to shove, God’s will is for us to be in an eternal relationship with Him. Yes, there are daily decisions that we need good discernment on in order to choose God and avoid evil, but the ultimate desire and will of God is to be in an intimate relationship with us. I can at times find myself getting worked up on “over discerning” things and forget that the fundamental question really is, “Will this lead me towards God or away from God?” That’s it. We cannot over analyze things or we can really get confused, and our own discernment can possibly lead us away from God. So my prayer for us all is that we never lose focus of what is most important in life: God’s desire for us and our opportunity to respond to that desire (positively or negatively).  God bless you in all that you do!

In Christ,

Gary Foote

Today we celebrate the Feast of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. As Catholics, we believe that Mary who was conceived without sin, lived without sin by always being obedient to God, was taken body and soul into Heaven without going through the pains of death. God doesn’t just tell us in the Fourth Commandment to “Honor our Father and Mother,” but He shows us first hand in a really amazing way how He does that as the Mother of Jesus Christ is assumed into Heaven. As I was at Mass today, the Gospel reading hit me in a really unique way. I must have heard and read this Gospel passage at least 100 times, but today God blessed me with a different understanding of it.

Mary was visiting her cousin Elizabeth who was pregnant with John the Baptist. Now Elizabeth’s pregnancy was miraculous in its own way because she was very old when John was conceived. However, it happened the “normal” way. Elizabeth was married and had been for some years. It was a miracle that John was conceived, but Elizabeth didn’t have to explain to anyone the logistics of how it happened. Mary on the other hand was in a different boat. Mary was betrothed to Joseph. They were not married, and yet she was pregnant. Although it wasn’t entirely unheard of for a betrothed couple to be pregnant, Mary knew that Joseph knew he wasn’t the father because she had conceived Jesus virginally. It was rare for a woman of Elizabeth’s age to become pregnant, it was out of place for a betrothed couple to be pregnant, but in all of history, there had never been (and will never be again) a virginal conception. Mary had every right to be concerned, doubtful, and even fearful. There is no official Catholic Church teaching on this, but a thought came to mind as I listened to the story of Mary and Elizabeth being proclaimed into today’s Gospel.

What if Mary for just a few moments was able to let go of all of the details of her pregnancy as she focused on Elizabeth? Then all of sudden Elizabeth reminded her of her pregnancy:

“Blessed are you among women,

and blessed is the fruit of your womb.

And how does this happen to me,

that the mother of my Lord should come to me?

For at the moment the sound of your greeting reached my ears,

the infant in my womb leaped for joy.

Blessed are you who believed

that what was spoken to you by the Lord

would be fulfilled.” – Luke 1:42-45

What if doubt started to enter into Mary’s mind about all that had taken place, but instead of allowing that doubt to turn into fear (like I sometimes do), she immediately prayed and reminded herself of who God is based on who He has revealed Himself to be in the Sacred Scriptures (see 1 Samuel 2:2-10). We know from Luke 1:46-55 that the following happened as Elizabeth spoke to Mary:

And Mary said:

“My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord;

my spirit rejoices in God my Savior

for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.

From this day all generations will call me blessed:

the Almighty has done great things for me

and holy is his Name.

He has mercy on those who fear him

in every generation.

He has shown the strength of his arm,

and has scattered the proud in their conceit.

He has cast down the mighty from their thrones,

and has lifted up the lowly.

He has filled the hungry with good things,

and the rich he has sent away empty.

He has come to the help of his servant Israel

for he has remembered his promise of mercy,

the promise he made to our fathers,

to Abraham and his children forever.”

If only I can follow the Blessed Virgin Mary’s example in a better way, then I too can turn my doubts into trust. Let’s face it: I will never have to deal with the same uncertainty of how I was going to explain being virginally pregnant. I can (and do) encounter many challenges, but none as big as Mary did (don’t forget that she also was at the cross as her son was crucified for our sins). If I can learn from her to immediately call to mind who God has revealed Himself to be, then I too can overcome any obstacle because God is greater than anything I might ever have to face.

As we celebrate the Feast of the Assumption, may our beautiful Mother continue to pray for us and lead us to her son as only she can.

God bless you,

Gary Foote

The problem with hope is that as Catholic Christians we often times embrace the secular definition of hope and substitute that definition in our spiritual life. Merriam-Webster defines hope as “to cherish a desire with anticipation ” or “to expect with confidence.” As a Catholic youth speaker, I often hope that the message I am sharing with the youth pierces their hearts so that all that is left is their encounter with God. When I lead Catholic youth retreats, I hope that the teens come with an openness to allow God to do wonderful things in their lives. When I get on a plane to travel to speak at a Catholic youth conference, I hope that I get a window seat, and no one sits in the middle seat. All of these hopes are good desires (I admit the airplane seat one is totally selfish), but they leave something up to chance. Someone or something can diminish my hopes and what I expect to happen can quickly fade away leaving me disappointed.

Unfortunately, I have to admit that on too many occasions I’ve allowed myself to allow this definition of hope creep into my spiritual life. I’ll be the first to confess that I do not always know why God intervenes sometimes and other times He chooses not to. During these times when I don’t understand God’s decisions on what He does and doesn’t do, I often default to putting my “hope” in God, expecting the best possible outcome for a situation (according to what I think is best), and resolve to know that there is a “chance” that I will be disappointed. After all, isn’t hope “to expect with confidence?”

The problem with hope is that relying only on the secular definition can leave us in a place of despair when we don’t know what God is doing in our life or the lives of others. When we turn to the Sacred Scriptures and Catechism of the Catholic Church for a definition of hope, things change a bit. “Hope is the theological virtue by which we desire the kingdom of heaven and eternal life as our happiness, placing our trust in Christ’s promises and relying not on our own strength, but on the help of the grace of the Holy Spirit” (Catechism of the Catholic Church #1817). The difference between the two definitions is this: humans can (and do) fail; God does not. When we “place our trust in Christ’s promises” we move from a place of “expecting with confidence” to “expecting with certainty.” There is no such thing as “chance” when it comes to God. Something either is or it is not.

Evil tries to lead us away from God and His faithfulness through that little crack of doubt that exists in the secular understanding of hope. If we think that by some chance God has or will abandon us, then our faith begins to diminish. God has made His decision about everything that will or will not happen in our lives. There is no such thing as chance for God. We have to make the decision whether or not our hope is or is not in God, there is no such thing as chance. It’s a difficult decision because it means that even when we do not understand why something in life is going the way that it is we still have to trust with certainty (not just expect with confidence) that God is in control of the situation and in the long run is allowing things to happen for our benefit because He loves us. That’s tough!!!! When there are challenges in our ministries, family members who become ill, loved ones who die, and problems with our finances, we have to trust that God is in control? Yes, and not just trust but be 100% confident that He is in control and desires what ever is happening to happen. The only caveat to that is that we must be in constant communication with Him through receiving the Sacraments, reading the Sacred Scriptures, and praying every day so that we can allow Him to guide our actions. If we are not in an intimate relationship with Him we may error on our own by acting outside of His will, putting our hope in ourselves, and once again entering “chance” back into the equation.

I know that for me that even writing this blog is difficult because it calls me to continually be 100% confident in God during the good and the bad times. But what better hope do I really have? After all the Sacred Scriptures tell us, “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful” (Hebrews 10:23).

May God bless you in all that you do. Don’t ever lose hope.

In Christ,

Gary Foote

The theme for this year’s conference was, “Rooted,” based on Colossians 2:6-7,“As therefore you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so live in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.” This was one of my more favorite themes over the years because the word “Rooted” instilled in me a great visual. I was excited to be a part of the conference and see what God was going to do. However, like often times happens, I had no idea how God was going to work. Although I have consistently been involved with the Steubenville youth conferences, I haven’t done anything directly with the Steubenville West conference since 2005. It was great to head back to the University of Arizona where I first experienced a Steubenville youth conference in 1999.

On Friday afternoon, I was walking with another youth minister when all of a sudden I heard someone yell my name, “Gary!” I turned around and was surprised to see a former teen of mine helping someone in a wheelchair. She ran over and gave me a huge hug. It was a great moment. This grown woman was standing in front of me who I hadn’t seen in years. I started having flash backs to the first time I met her when she was dropped off as a Confirmation prep student at the parish I was working for in the Diocese of Phoenix. Back then she was a mess but a devout mess. This poor little girl faced more family struggles than any person should ever have to deal with. I remember countless phone calls, prayer sessions, and professional interventions to help this young girl and now here she was a chaperone for the parish that I used to work for. We talked a few times throughout the conference, and she shared with me that she had just graduated from college with a degree in psychology and was going to study theology so that someday she could devote herself to youth ministry. She thanked me for all that I had done in the past to help deepen her relationship with God and the Church. I was very grateful for her kind words. I’ve never been involved with Catholic youth ministry to be praised, but it is pretty nice when you can see how God has worked in the life of someone over many years.

Later Friday night a security guard stopped me. I was thinking to myself, “What did I do this time?” and “I hope no one sees me getting busted.” Well, it turns out I wasn’t in trouble. The security guard took off his hat, sunglasses, and radio, and I almost fell to the ground. Standing before me was another former teen who was all grown up. Now, I have to be honest. This guy was the teen that you would always want to send to your neighboring parish because he was such a pain and yet he would continue to come back week after week. I remember having to ask this teen to step outside with me on several occasions to tell him that I loved him with the love of Christ but that his attitude needed to change and then he would mouth off to me. I even talked to his parents once, and his dad mouthed off to me. At that point, I knew why this young man needed as much help growing closer to God that I could offer. Anyway, here we were face to face, and he shared with me that he’s been working security at the conference for years as a volunteer because it changed his life. He introduced me to the other security guards around as “his youth minister” and had a huge smile on his face. I was so happy to see him there (and was excited that I wasn’t in trouble with the law).

Saturday morning I was sitting at breakfast and low and behold another former teen was sitting right across from me. I didn’t have much time so I said hello, gave her a hug, and was off to my session. Later during the day though, I ran into her again. This time we had an opportunity to talk for a while. She shared with me that when she went off to college, her family went through some real challenges that caused her to stop practicing her faith. As life went on, she realized that she wasn’t happy and remembered the peace she had in her high school days when she was involved with faith. She started going to Mass again and has been going deeper in faith over the last two years as she volunteers at the parish that I used to work at. We prayed together, hugged, and went on our ways.

The last surprise “blast from the past” was another former teen that was at the conference. He is now the youth minister for one of the most dynamic youth ministry parishes in the nation.

I travel enough that it is not uncommon for me to run into people that I’ve had the privilege to minister to or with in the past. But running into these 4 amazing adults in a 72 hour time frame was amazing. Why was it that all of these adults (who were in the youth ministry program I ran at the same time) were still committed to their faith when so many young adults flee from the Church? The answer is: they were rooted in Christ. They knew that their faith was the most important thing in life and fully embraced it. I had the honor to work with an amazing team of young adult volunteers who were rooted in Christ so we all worked together to minister to these teens and try our best to be transparent so that it wasn’t any of us that they saw but Christ. We prayed intentionally and intensely. We went to Adoration and Mass together. We had Bible studies and learned about the lives of the Saints. We walked through the neighborhood by the parish and prayed the rosary while we walked. We went to conferences, retreats, and seminars. Most importantly, we authentically loved Jesus and His Church. If you were to ask any of these four young adults what they remembered most about their experience in youth ministry I can guarantee you that they would say something to the effect of, “that’s where I met and fell in love with Jesus.” We did a lot of fun things like going to amusement parks, renting inflatable obstacle courses, going to the movies, and playing video games in the youth room. But, that was never the focus of what we did.

So why do I share this? Unfortunately, I’ve had many people over the years ask me if teens would be “scared away” by teaching the bible and doctrines of our Church. I even had someone tell me once that I shouldn’t teach the teens about sin because they couldn’t understand it and that youth ministry should just be a welcoming place for teens to come at the parish. In my opinion, it’s these same people that wonder where all of the young adults are in the Catholic Church. I’m writing to say have fun in youth ministry, but don’t forget the reason why we are in ministry: to help young people grow in their relationship with God and His Church. When teens are rooted, they can blossom into faithful adults. Don’t give your youth “Wonder Bread” when they deserve the “Bread of Life,” the Eucharist. If you need help transitioning to a more deeply rooted youth ministry, start praying and seeking the help of a mentor. The Church needs more rooted adults. Let’s start creating them by helping our youth get firmly rooted in Christ.

God Bless you,

Gary Foote